The Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1999
10
Smash Mouth - All Star
Let's start the top ten off with a song that could be controversial for its placement on this list, and it's also the only song where overplay directly influenced its placement. I definitely liked "All Star" back in the day, but when you've heard the song 10,000 times, it's almost undoubtedly going to grate on the ears before too long. "All Star" also had the added detriment of making me dislike other Smash Mouth songs just because of how played out this particular song is. Sorry, "All Star".
9
Tal Bachman - She's So High
First of all...what kind of name is "Tal"? TAL? REALLY? What were your parents on when they named you, man? But this isn't about making fun of someone's name, even if it's fun to do so, admittedly. No, this blurb is dedicated to how annoying the chorus of "She's So High" is. That falsetto grated on me back in 1999. In 2015, it's downright insufferable. "SHE'S SO HIIIIIIIIIEYIIIIIIIGH"...urgh. There's a pleasant song in here somewhere underneath the terrible chorus, but I refuse to dig deeper to find out.
8
98 Degrees - I Do (Cherish You)
I will admit that I don't really HATE the boy bands of this era (or most of them, anyway). I don't have anything really against 98 Degrees. I can appreciate "Because of You" and "The Hardest Thing" for what they are, for example. They're inoffensive teen pop. "I Do (Cherish You)" is where I draw the line, though. We already have one slow tempo ballad in "The Hardest Thing". We did not need two in the same era, especially one as boring as "I Do". There were worse boy band hits in 1999, but few were as boring.
7
Britney Spears - Sometimes
This one could be a bit controversial, now that I think about it, but this was, easily, the worst single release from Britney Spears' seminal teen pop album, ...Baby One More Time. Compared to the other single releases off of the album, "Sometimes" was just bland and boring. This certainly isn't a "...Baby One More Time" or "(You Drive Me) Crazy", that's for damn sure, and Britney was never the best with ballads, especially early in her career. Nowhere is that more apparent than "Sometimes".
6
Juvenile - Back That Azz Up
*sigh* I really didn't want to put this on the list, because there's a part of me that sees this as a guilty pleasure...but really, just LISTEN to the song. It's terrible. It's a terrible, horrible song. It absolutely has to make this list. I don't feel great about it, though. That chorus is so catchy, but the actual meat of the song is horrific. And this is not even close to the worst thing Juvenile has unleashed in his career. Scary thought, right there.
5
'N Sync - (God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You
Sensing a pattern yet with these teen pop songs? I don't have the more up-tempo teen pop songs on this list, because those songs are pretty inoffensive, for the most part. It's when the boy bands slow things down that things get ugly, and 'N Sync was the WORST offender of the boy bands of the era. The first of two terrible 'N Sync ballads on this list, "(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You" is so boring that it puts insomniacs to sleep. There's just so little to get excited about here.
4
Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5
I know, I know, it's an easy choice to put Lou Bega on a "Worst Hit Songs of 1999" list. But just because it's an "easy choice", that doesn't mean that it doesn't deserve to make the list all the same, and "Mambo No. 5" has become notorious as one of the most insufferable one hit wonders of its era. As for me, I hated the song the first time that I listened to it, and I was 12 years old at the time. Imagine how late-20's B feels about the song today. (Hint: It's not positive.)
3
Christina Aguilera - Genie in a Bottle
I don't care if this choice is seen as "controversial" or "undeserving" by some of you. "Genie in a Bottle" is one of those songs that I've ALWAYS hated, kind of like "Mambo No. 5", but I can still find things about "Mambo No. 5" that are enjoyable, even if the song, as a whole, is annoying. "Genie in a Bottle"...I just hate everything about the song. I hate the production, I hate Christina's vocal performance, I hate the lyrics...everything about "Genie in a Bottle" rubs me the wrong way, pun intended. Honestly, I'm surprised that this song is only #3...but I did find two songs that are worse.
2
LFO - Summer Girls
Oh ho ho...THIS song. I don't hate the production on this song, I don't mind the vocals, and the song itself sounds almost pleasant, especially compared to the last couple of songs I've covered. The reason LFO's "Summer Girls" has become notorious for how terrible it is, however, lies in the video I used for the song. As inoffensive as the rest of the parts of this song are, the lyrics are among the worst in the history of pop music. These lyrics make the lyrics of "Friday" seem like they were written by Bob Dylan. And this was one of the biggest hits of 1999! What the hell were we THINKING?
1
'N Sync and Gloria Estefan - Music of My Heart
As bad as the lyrics of "Summer Girls" are, though, again, the rest of the song isn't THAT offensive. It's not great, but it's passable if you look past the horrid lyrics. "Music of My Heart", on the other hand, has no redeeming qualities. The music is very bland and boring, the vocals are annoying, the lyrics are subpar...in other words, it's what happens when you get the absolute worst of the teen pop movement of the late 90's. This is one of the least enjoyable songs I have ever listened to. It's not just annoying and boring. It beats you over the head with how annoying and boring it is. This song is so poor that I was catatonic after listening to the song for the first time. And I was a 12 year old music fan that shouldn't have known better. Enough said.